He's a Tramp
by Lover of ink
Summary: Sam Winchester wakes up to a problematic predicament. His older brother is a dog! What caused this to happen? And why to Dean?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sam's eyes snapped open. What was Dean up to that involved destroying the whole room?

"Dean!" Sam growled, throwing the scratchy hotel covers off, when he stopped. Dean wasn't in the room. What could have made all that commotion?

"Dean?" Sam's voice shook with slight uncertainty. He grabbed the gun from his nightstand. "Come on Dean, this isn't funny!"

Books were scattered across the floor and a lamp lay shattered. Sam sat next to the lamp, observing the faint, bloody outline of a paw.

He cursed under his breath and let the gun down, "Its just a dog." He sat up in the bed and rubbed one eye with his palm. It had just turned 3:15, far to early for this.

"Here dog," Sam clicked his tongue, wondering where his older brother could be. He shook the images from his mind.

The culprit of the mess whimpered slightly, causing Sam's head to turn to the other side of the room. There, a light brown German shepherded mix struggled in a familiar leather coat.

"No! Bad dog! Stop!" Sam leapt up and raced across the room, snatching the old jacket from him. "Dean would kill you if it got ruined!"

The dog growled, "Sammy! Its me, Dean!"

Sam blinked his eyes rapidly, "I must be dreaming! This cant be real."

"Oh trust me, its real," Dean looked over his shoulder slightly, "Between you and me, don't walk into the bathroom." His little doggy eyebrows arched.

The younger brother ran his fingers through his long mass of hair, "How did this happen?"  
"Hey, when a dog's gatta go, a dog's gatta go." He had a little smirk to his muzzle.

"Gross! No, I mean about… this." He gestured to the mutt.

"Hell if I know! One minute, Im dream'en bout some hot chicks in a bar, next I wake up as some cheap horror movie."

"Did you check for hex bags?"

"Naw, Sammy, I was chasing a mouse. What do'ya think I was doin?!"

"Alright, sorry. Um, what else could it be?" Sam clasped his hands together.

"I dunno, you're the one with opposable thumbs."

Sam glared at Dean as the dog yawned and curled up.

"In the mean time, I'm gonna get some shut eye."

"Ohhh no. You aren't going to get off that easily."

Dean perked his ears up. "Wadda ya mean?"

"You woke me up two hours before I'm supposed to and now it's to late to get more sleep. We are going out to investigate."

Dean groaned and slid off the bed.

After breakfast, the sun began to rise, coating the earth with life. People began to flood the streets in a rush to get to work.

Sam smiled, breathing in the crisp morning, "It's a beautiful day."

"Yeah, if I weren't a dog."

"Come on, Dean, it cant be _that_ bad."

"Oh yeah? Try having five dogs fight to sniff your butt," Dean huffed.

Sam stifled a chuckle.

As the brothers walked down the streets, they looked at newspapers, tabloids, and talked with the kids at the corners. Dean was a huge hit with them. Although he'd hate to admit it, he loved the attention he was getting. He even licked a kid. When the kids asked Sam what the dog's name was, he glanced blankly from them to Dean.

"Uhh… Dean."

"That's a lame name, mister."

"Yeah, it stinks!"

Dean pouted a little as Sam giggled, "Okay, what do you think he should be called?"

"How 'bout 'Butt-Kicker'?" A little boy laughed.

"Or 'Zap'!"

"Or 'Princess'!"

"Naw, Sophie, that's a girls name!"

"So? It's a pretty name!"

"No its not!"

"Yes it is!"

Sam raised his arms, "Hold on a minute! How about we mix all the names together, would that work?"

The group of kids nodded in unison.

"Great. Kids, meet 'Princess Zap Butt-Kicker'"

They all cheered.

Sam smiled at his older brother who was giving him a death glare. "Im gonna kill you."

"Down Princess Zap Butt-Kicker," Sam laughed.

"E'sucse me, young man," all the kids fled from the growing shadow, "is this here yur dog?" The cop scowled down at Sam from behind his tinted aviators.

"U-uh, Yes sir, he is."

"You ah aware of the leashed dog policy we keep here in this fine town, ah you not, sir?"

"No sir, I wasn't. I just came into town for a case," Sam struggled to reach his badge in his wallet. He showed the cop.

"Ef Bee Eye, huh? Too top dog tah get yur own dog a leash, huh?"

"No sir! I'll go buy one right now."

"Yeah, you betteh." The cop spat in the street and strode to his car.

As he drove away, the brothers looked at each other.

"No way in Hell am I gonna wear that!" Dean struggled away from his little brother in a wrestling match for freedom.

"You have to. Only until we fix this."

"NO!" Dean wriggled away, running around the room trying to find an exit. Sam cut him off, holding his arms wide. Dean slid under him like he was at home plate. Given the opportunity, man jumped on dog and attached the collar and leash.

"Ha!" Sam shouted triumphantly, "Who's the bitch now?"

Dean growled, "Its not funny..."

Sam smirked, "to you, maybe. Now come on, we gatta figure this out." They turned around to see a group of children staring in wide eyed wonder.

"Uh, er….. hey, uh, this is Princess Zap Butt-Kicker…. Er, he knows a lot of tricks… You see, you may think that he talked, but its just a trick."

Dean growled again.

"Go ahead, Princess, speak." Sam gulped as the kids glared on.

"Er, I wove woo."

"See? Pretty neat, huh?"

"What does 'Bitch' mean, sir?" A little girl in the back raised her tiny hand.

Sam flinched, "Er, it means, uh, it means a girl dog, that's what it means. But don't go repeating it!"

"But isn't your dog a boy?"

"Why does it have a girl's name then?"

"Why does it say 'I love you'? Are you lonely mister?"

"That's enough, why don't you go out and play?"

The kids shrugged and left them alone.

Sam heaved a sigh of relief, "That was close, eh Dean?" Silence. "Dean?" Sam spun on his heel in search of his brother, "Dean!" In a panic, he raced around the store shouting out for his brother. He stopped by an older lady shopping, "Excuse me, Ma'am, have you seen my bro-er-dog? My brown dog?"

"Is that him over there?" She pointed to a commotion near the front.

Sam groaned, "Yes it is, thank you." He ran over, "Dean! What are you doing!?"

"Excuse me, young man, is this your dog?" A lady with a beaklike nose shrieked.

"Y-y-yes, Im sorry.." Sam blushed crimson as he grabbed Dean by the scruff to pull him away from a beautiful, unbelievably soft, purely white poodle.

A kid giggled in the background, "They are hugging!"

"I am so so sorry. This wont ever happen again, I promise!"

"I should hope not! I'll see to it that he gets fixed! As every mongrel should be!"

Sam and Dean went pale, "No! I mean that, I-I'll get it done."

The lady huffed, "You had better or I'll sue."

As she turned to leave, Dean winked at the poodle.

"Call me."

Sam glared at him,"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT DEAN!?"

"What? Nature was calling to me!"

"One, You ARENT a dog, and two, IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORE!? That lady wants to.." Sam coughed, "Look, you cant be doing that. Its sick!"

"Ha! Have you ever tried it?" Dean chuckled.

"You are impossible!"

Chapter 2


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Two weeks, Sammy. Two. Damn. Weeks!"

"I know, I know, but we have tried everything! I just don't know what to do now!" Sam rubbed his face. His mind reeled with possibilities. All of them dead-ends. His older brother, Dean, had been trapped in a dog's body for nearly two weeks, and it's getting on both of their nerves. Just the other day, Dean chewed through one of his brother's FBI shoes, the good pair. Sam was fed up with having a dog. "Look, lets just get some breakfast. Maybe we need a break."

Dean's ears perked, "Cant say no to a good hamburger!" He trotted over to the door, sitting patiently for the leash.

His younger brother laughed, "Good boy, Dean! You haven't ever wanted the leash on you!"

"Shut up."

The boys walked over to the corner diner where they have been eating the past few weeks, sitting in a booth.

" 'Scuse me sir. Why is your dog here?" The pretty blonde waitress asked, pointing to Dean.

"Oh, sorry. We have been coming here for a few weeks. I'm Agent Thomas Mays, and this is my canine counterpart, Dean."

The dog winked.

"Oh, alright.. Uh, can I take your order?"

"Yes please, I would like the salad of the day with some iced tea. He'll have the," Sam looked down the list.

Dean put his muzzle behind the menu, "King beef. King beef."

Sam smiled and looked up, "The King Beef triple patty, please. And a bowl with water."

The waitress raised an eyebrow. "Your dog likes burgers? Isn't that a little unhealthy?"

"Believe me, I keep telling him that," Sam mumbled.

"How about I bring out some old bread and grilled meat? Free of charge." She smiled and left without a second opinion.

Dean's mouth fell agape as he turned to his brother, "She denied me my King Beef rights!"

The younger brother chuckled lightly, brushing off some fur on his pants.

"This isn't funny! No one messes with my Burger!"

"Well our waitress just did."

"Well, don't you dare tip her! The costumer is always right, right?"

Sam shook his head and pulled out a book on mythology. He flipped the pages to a bookmarked section, but he didn't start reading.

"Hey, why haven't we talked to Cas about this yet? I think he might be able to help us. You." Sam flashed an awkward smile.

"You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding."

Sam sighed and shrugged, "But why, Dean? We are lost, we have no leads, and, lets face it, if we don't get help, you could be a dog for the rest of your life."

"I know! Okay? I know." Dean grumbled, resting his head on his paws. "Truth is.." he sighed, "I don't know where Cas i-"

Sam held a finger up and picked up his vibrating phone, "Cas?"

"Speak of the angel."

"Hello Sam." Castiel's voice could be heard over the speaker. "Is Dean with you?"

"Uh, as a matter of fact he is, say hi Dean."

"Woof."

The line went silent. "I do not… I do not understand. That was not a greeting."

"Dean is a dog, Cas. We don't know how to turn him back, let alone what did this to him. We were wondering if you could help us."

There was more silence.

"Cas?"

"I have not left, yet. I am afraid that I cannot be of much help. There is… a problem."

Dean got up, "What problem? Come on Cas, spit it out."

"I am in the hospital, Dean."

Both parties went quiet.

"W-what's wrong?"

The phone sighed before responding, "I had a surgery to remove hemorrhoids from my rectum."

"Y-y-you what?" Sam tried to hide his laughter.

"Angels need proper butt care too!" Dean quipped.

"This is not something to joke about, Dean Winchester. I am in pain and I cannot do much on my own, I need some one-"

"Hey, hey, does that make them holy hemorrhoids?" The two boys laughed.

The angel was clearly irritated, "No, it does not. Illness and disease were brought into this world with sin, when Adam and Eve took the fruit from the tree of kno-"

"Okay, Cas. We get it. We don't need a bible story. Why did you call us anyway?" Dean huffed.

"I just thought… maybe… I could move in with you two… At least until I healed."

The boys exchanged looks. Sam's mind reeled. Now, not only does he have to take care of a dog, but now he has to baby sit a fallen angel. Taking on the leviathans was easier then what was to come.

"Okay, Cas. You can stay with us. We are in Fairmount West Virginia. Be carful getting here."

"Thank you, Sam."

They hung up as the waitress came back. "Here are your drinks, sir." She smiled, putting the bowl in front of Dean. She reached to scratch behind his ear, but he pulled away.

"You'll have to excuse him. He's a bit grumpy."

She smiled, "I cant imagine why. If I had you as my partner, I would never by crabby." She blushed a little, "Let me get your food."

"Some one has an admirer." Dean winked before lapping up some water.

"Shut up."

It didn't take long for Castiel to find the Winchester boys. It did, however, take him forever to get out of the car.

"Whoa whoa, I got you."

"Thank you Sam. My bags are in the trunk, if I could grab-"

Dean shook his furry head, "Nuh uh. You get in that hotel room and rest. I got it."

The two humans looked at him incredulously.

"I got it!" He padded to the open driver's seat door, looking for the trunk lever. Once found, he used his teeth to pull it upwards. "Easy as pie." When he got to the back, however, his face dropped. The bags where HUGE! What would a fallen Angel have in them? Determined to prove them wrong, Dean set to work, gripping anything he could and tugging with all his might. If any one had happened upon the scene, it would have been quite the sight!

"Come on Dean Winchester, you got this." He growled, still tugging.

"looks like you need a hand." Sam chuckled at his own joke.

"No no, I got this." Finally, with a commanding tug, the large duffle bag fell out of the trunk. "Haha! Success! Eat that, Sammy!"

"Id rather not." Sam hefted the bag over his shoulder and Dean trotted beside him into the room.

Cas, clearly exhausted, struggled to look over at them. "I want to thank you two for allowing me to stay with you."

"Its nothing, Cas. Just get some shut eye." Dean rested his head on the covers, watching over his friend, who quickly fell asleep.

"I can move the stuff off the couch and you can sleep the-"

"Uh. Nah, its fine. I, uh, I think I'll watch over Cas for a bit. Go ahead and sleep."

His younger brother nodded and smirked a little before tucking himself in for the night.

As promised, Dean watched over the injured, sleeping, angel. He twitched in his respite. Not enough to be annoying to the dog at the foot of the bed, but enough to chuckle at. Whenever Cas looked like he was in pain, Dean would scoot closer to him and gently nuzzle him until his face relaxed. After a few hours of this, Dean felt his own eyes grow heavy, and he decided it was time to retire. After a quick check to see that Cas was fine, Dean curled into a ball and fell asleep.


End file.
